3 lessons I learned after two months of slowing down
On being, being moved, and the kind of play that bends time
I’ve been moving extra slow since early April.
Life felt especially hard this year. I used work and structure around projects to create some sense of normalcy, and it helped.
Until two projects I’d built my month around fell through within a week.
And I noticed that, instead of being disappointed, my whole body exhaled.
I felt so grateful for the extra space.
The slower I moved, the more I could see where I’m still not living on my own terms.
In a culture that defines our worth by our performance, choosing to move slower can feel like you’re failing, falling behind, or wasting time.
But that discomfort is part of the unconditioning: letting your nervous system learn that you’re still safe, still worthy, even when you’re not producing.
The past two months of slowing down brought up a lot for me. Here are the three things I learned:
1/ Being and doing
I tend to get stuck in “doing” and forget how to be. It’s easy to let meditation and inner work become just another thing on the list. In modern life, we often treat meditation like a tool to produce something we want. Even the thing that’s meant to help us just be starts becoming about healing, clarity, abundance, a calmer nervous system, or better focus. Sometimes it’s even “so I can have more energy to do more.” It’s another to live a robotic life.
To actually experience being, we need to slow down long enough to arrive without waiting for the next thing. And when we do, our doing starts coming from our truest expression, not from pressure or another task on the to-do list.
In my experience, when we’re stuck in doing, enjoyment is the bridge back to being. This is a poem that came through for me. Press play, and may it resonate with you:
2/ Moving vs being moved
I truly believe movement is life. We’re made to move.
But so many of us move to escape something, or to control something. It can become addictive, not because movement is bad, but because we start to fear space. We’re terrified that if we stop, everything will fall apart.
In my own experience, there’s a big difference between trying to move and being moved.
Trying to move is what happens when you work so hard to force change because your worth feels tied to that change. Your movement becomes a reaction to something outside of you.
Being moved is different. You’re not reacting. You’re the force.
In my life, every time I moved from urgency, from escape, or from needing to make something happen, I ended up exhausted and feeling like I’d failed. When I let myself be moved, that’s when waves were created. It felt like alchemy.
These days I ask myself: am I being moved, or am I moving to escape and control?
3/ It feels illegal
The other day, I went to the beach and made an office with rocks. My background music was waves. I had a meeting with a stork, and got distracted by loads of colorful butterflies.
It felt so good to play, create, and “work,” but it didn’t feel like work. It was fun. Instead of having an agenda, I arrived as I am to see what wanted to come through.
Then I felt this strong instruction to write, not just anything, but a book. I always thought I’d write a book ten years from now, but it started pouring out of me. I wrote three chapters in one sitting, with insane clarity, on something I’d never even thought about before.
It made me wonder: slowing down feels illegal in our society because when you give yourself permission to slow down long enough, you dare to bend time. And when you do, you’re much harder to control in the robotic way of modern life.
I keep wondering: how can I lead a life that’s so fun and playful it feels illegal?
Press play and set the illegal tone for your day:
What would “living on your own terms” look like in one small, specific choice this week?
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….to help you move beyond the conditioning that keeps you stuck and in pain.
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Mindfulness Teacher & Bodyworker
🐉 Nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused strength training to target the cause of what keeps you stuck and in pain, not just symptoms.
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