Am I Spiritually Bypassing?
My twisted experience with this question
So many of us tend to think spiritual bypassing only happens when people avoid grief, heartbreak, and suffering in pursuit of “high vibes.” But this year I learned something deeper: clinging to pain, refusing to see the beauty and blessings in our lives, can also be a form of spiritual bypassing.
I started asking this question in 2016, the same year I began my business and began exploring my inner world (and later my connection with the divine).
Am I spiritually bypassing?
This question arose from two lived experiences:
As a kid, I watched my dad repeatedly question people who placed their faith entirely in God, believing they did nothing to change their situation and simply left it to God, something I now see holds some truth, though not the whole story.
Later as an adult, I witnessed some people in the spiritual spaces constantly talk about light and love while having little capacity for difficult emotions, often using love, light, or even boundary-setting as a way to avoid reality.
At the time I thought I was asking this question to keep myself accountable, but now I see I was using it for more than that. I was using it as a way to shame and control myself, especially when I felt joy, love, trust, and magic.
I had a protector part (in IFS terms) that believed the world wasn’t safe for me, and that if I allowed myself to feel good, something terrible would happen to those I love. She thought holding back would protect them, so I stayed small, keeping my nervous system in a kind of constant fight or flight even when things were good.
My first encounter with this part was in a breathwork practice and after that this came through ↓
I sat with this part frequently to understand what she needs to feel safe, but everything clicked when I was watching Luis Mojica's video on The Empath is a Trauma Response, he asked:
Why do we believe empathy means only feeling the pain of the world? Why not its beauty, too?
This really hit home for me, especially because over the past couple of years, I’ve felt a visceral reaction to labeling myself as an empath/HSP. Too often, I’ve seen the term used to justify chronic overwhelm. For me, it started to feel like it stripped away my sovereignty, like I had no power to discern my boundary and instead had to be a victim of my own sensitive nature.
This conversation also expanded my understanding of spiritual bypassing.
Some people bypass by clinging to love and light, while others bypass by staying stuck in pain and suffering, and neither is the whole story.
A healthy nervous system, much like the Self in IFS, has the capacity to move across the full spectrum of experience, visiting the edges of pain and the edges of joy, without making any of them wrong. This ability to flow, to hold both ends and return to center, is what allows us to feel fully, honestly, and with curiosity.
And I love how it also makes so much sense from the postural lens too. The position of neutrality (explained in this video) is that centered place that allows for easy access to both flexion and rounding, and to extension and straightening, without getting stuck in either end.
Now feels like a smooth transition to tell you that if you missed it live, the second session of Posture Reset is now available on YouTube. In this video:
You learn about the relationship between rib cage positioning and shoulder movement.
You learn about how my client’s shoulder mobility improved significantly by focusing on her breathing mechanics, rib cage positioning, and core strength.
You also go through a series of exercises to unlock your upper spine and shoulder mobility.
Don’t forget to join the last session tomorrow on core strength and stability!
I still believe being accountable to ourselves, to others, to the world is such a valuable thing to cultivate.
But now I wonder: what is the best way to stay accountable without shaming and guilting ourselves/others into submission?
Perhaps it begins by noticing when accountability turns into punishment and gently choosing another way, one rooted in curiosity, care, and integrity.
By remembering that accountability is not about making ourselves/others small to avoid harm but about staying present and connected to the fullness of who we are, even when it is messy.
May we all keep asking, keep noticing, and keep growing our capacity to hold both our pain and our joy, not to bypass but to truly be.
👁️ What your body has been trying to tell you?
If you want to go deeper and explore your body’s story, take this quiz to see what patterns show up for you!
The way we hold ourselves matters. Not just because of how it looks. But because it shapes how we live, how we relate, and what we’re capable of imagining. Let your body speak. Let it interrupt the collective war and offer you a new way of being entirely.
Client’s Unconditioning ↓
If you feel called to explore working with me to re-pattern your body, regulate your nervous system, and restore your power, book an alignment call here: https://tidycal.com/hedishah/alignment-call
Offerings↓ ↓
⏇ 4-Week Posture Reset, session 4:
July 28th. Monday. 3:30 pm GMT
This body loving, mind opening posture series designed to help you soften, strengthen, and realign your posture. Each week we focus on a different joint or body part for a deeper experience. Next session we focus on all things core strength.
Prepration:
- Wear comfy clothes
-Have access to wall space
-Have a blanket and pillow nearby
Duration: 45-60 mins
Where: Insight Timer
Cost: Free or donation-based
꩜ Monthly Reset
July 30th . Wednesday . 3 pm GMT
These sessions are designed to release the stress you have been carrying, reconnect with your body’s wisdom, and step into the new month with clarity and intention. In the final week of each month, we will come together for:
• Nonlinear movement to shake off tension and emotional residue
• Guided reflection to integrate what the month brought
• Intentional planning to meet the next cycle grounded and resourced
This is about returning to your center, unconditioning yourself from systems built to keep you small, and living a sovereign life. Come as you are.
Leave lighter, clearer, and more connected.
Prepration:
- Wear comfy clothes
- Have plenty of space to move around
- Bring a pen and paper
Duration: 45-60 mins
Where: Insight Timer
Cost: Free or donation-based
⌇Claiming feminine resilience:
You know those topics that live deep in your bones? This is one of those and I’m so excited to be speaking at this Linkedin event hosted by
end of this month, if the topic resonates, would love to see you there. Join here: https://www.linkedin.com/events/claimingfeminineresilience7345865435172487168/theater/Things you may enjoy ↓
1) A lively chat
I had a really fun podcast interview with Coach Casey! We went everywhere in this conversation (in the best way). Tune in for a lively, unexpected mix of topics, including:
• how and why I swapped coffee for cocoa (plus some cozy recipes)
• what made me quit being vegetarian
• my personal journey with performance pressure
• and how posture connects to feeling safe and strong
2) A wholesome corner
My dear friend Bahar has started sharing her poems and reflections on the wild, tender journey of motherhood. Her words are honest, unfiltered, and full of heart. If you're craving something real, something that speaks to the in-between moments of parenting and becoming, go check her out
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Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Bodyworker & Mindfulness Teacher
🌊 Teaching change makers to uncondition their bodies, nervous systems, and voices from systems built to keep them small so they can move, speak, and live with sovereign power.
📲 Website | Youtube | LinkedIn | Insight Timer
Asking so many great questions! I knew the HSP/Empath thing was from my childhood, having been allowed no boundaries. I did not want to use any euphemistic terms for this adaptation! I was much more aware of the feelings of others than my own; my well-being in a dangerous, explosive environment depended upon it. I was a "tall poppy" from an early age; not only my relatives, but also peers, teachers, clergy, and various others did not take kindly to this.
And, boy, insecure, immature "adults" can seriously fuck up youngsters physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, spiritually - you name it. So heightened attunement, intuition, and empathy were required on the suburban savanna that was my native habitat.