Here is why my teenage self would 100% judge the hell out of me
My dad used to tell me:
You can do and be whoever you want to be. You are different.
Then I looked around me.
I didn’t see any women doing or being who they wanted to be.
That dissonance was very confusing for a young girl.
Layer that with the oppressive Islamic regime that controlled every aspect of our lives including what we wore.
I learned: I’m not enough, but I’ll do everything in my power to become enough.
My first strategy was to “man up”:
I refused to wear dresses, put makeup on, or come across as girlish to be taken seriously.
In my teens, I used to cut my hair extremely short, wear baggy clothes, and pretend I was a boy, taking immense pleasure in people thinking I wasn’t a girl.
I hated feeling my feelings, they made me feel weak. And anger was my best friend for a looong time.
I lived disconnected from my body for years...
Returning to my body changed me so deeply that my teenage self would 100% judge the hell out of me.
Here’s what changed:
Now creative expression is my top value in life
I lead from my enjoyment not to prove my enoughness
I’ve stopped performing my life and started living it
That’s the power of doing the work that addresses both body and mind.
If you’ve spent years trying to fit into boxes that were never built for you.
If you’ve been disconnected from your body as a way to survive.
If you’re ready to stop proving you’re “enough” and start living like you already are:
Join me and Mouna Laaragat for The Unconventional Women’s Journey: From Limitations to Liberation.
📅 February 11-13 (live online)
Somatic and mindset work to help you understand your deep-rooted limiting narratives, and give you the tools to no longer let them control your life.
Book your spot: tinyurl.com/unconventionalwomen
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Mindfulness Teacher & Bodyworker
🐉 Nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused strength training to target the cause of what keeps you stuck and in pain, not just symptoms.
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