“You have no neutral thoughts.”
When I first heard this, it challenged my whole understanding of neutrality. The longer I sat with it, the more truth I found in the idea.
The phrase comes from A Course in Miracles, which teaches that every thought brings either love or fear. A neutral result is impossible because a neutral thought is impossible.
If you’ve been around here for a while, you know I’ve often talked about neutrality in relation to the nervous system and posture.
I’ve thought of neutrality as the ability to bring “and” into our interactions and hold multiple truths at once.
I can disagree with you and remain curious.
I can feel anger and stay connected to myself.
I can recognize your humanity and refuse to excuse the harm you cause.
To me, this is nervous system capacity. It means making room for opposition without collapsing, fighting, fleeing, or fawning. It means staying present with discomfort instead of immediately reaching for certainty, blame, or escape.
I still believe in expanding our capacity. But lately, I’ve been questioning whether neutrality is the right orientation for that growth.
Neutrality sounds great in theory, until our humanness enters the room. Until our nervous system is overwhelmed, our wounds are activated, and neutrality is no longer available to us. What guides us then?
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I know the ick that follows when I realize I’ve been performing neutrality. And God forbid I can’t sustain it and my humanness shows. Either way, I end up judging myself and feeling guilty or ashamed for simply being human.
This is where love offers a different orientation.
It begins with admitting that we’re not neutral. We have judgments, fears, and emotional reactions. Rather than trying to neutralize them, we are being willing to orient our actions towards love while anger, grief, or fear are still present.
We don’t have to feel love perfectly. We only have to refuse to let fear decide who I become next.
Maybe the capacity I was trying to build was never the capacity to remain neutral.
Maybe it was the capacity to stay present with complexity and still choose love.
Now I’m wondering…
What’s your take on neutrality?
This question of choosing love over fear is also at the heart of this video, where I explore how judgment and shame can keep us separated from ourselves and others:
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Mindfulness Teacher & Bodyworker
🐉 Nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused strength training to target the cause of what keeps you stuck and in pain, not just symptoms.
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I love this idea of being present with discomfort. I tend to think of shifting into neutrality as a survival mechanism. But if there is no such thing as neutral, then what? Feel my feelings (fear!) and navigate to love!