Money, God, and the Myth of Enough
How childhood conditioning shaped my search for freedom, and what set me free.
Many of us grow up believing that freedom comes from having xyz. But what if real freedom is actually freedom from xyz?
For me, freedom has always been a core value. Since I was a little girl, every decision I made carried that desire at its root. For years, I believed I had to become worthy, healed, or “enough” before I could finally experience it.
But the more I chased freedom, the more trapped I felt.
Take money as an example. We’re taught that if we earn enough, save enough, or invest enough, we’ll finally feel free. But is it freedom with money, or freedom from money? Freedom from the need to get permission from money for the decisions we make in our lives.
Money and I have always had a complicated relationship. Some reasons are:
As a child, money was God in our household. It dictated how happy or sad we were allowed to feel. That belief followed me into adulthood as a business owner. When my business earned well, I felt energized, creative, and expansive. When it didn’t, I shrank, hiding from the world, feeling small, miserable, and trapped.
But “money as God” in my world did not end there. I come from a nation with deep spiritual roots, a culture once rich with mysticism and poetry. Then an oppressive Islamic regime took power, twisting God into something punishing and untrustworthy. Many, including my own family, turned away from faith altogether. Fear became the atmosphere we breathed, shaping how unsafe we felt in the world. If money was God, then money too was unsafe—no matter how much of it we had.
And still, there was another layer. If money was God, then it was not available to women. In my small world, only men could earn money. I did not see a single woman working in my community until I was a teenager. Women were expected to be "good" in order to be provided for, and in my young mind that meant I too needed to be a good little girl so that God would love me and grant me money.
Looking back, I can see that money was simply the mirror where I first met the bigger story: the chase for enoughness. I believed that if I had more of it, proved more, achieved more, I would finally be free.
But during one of my breathwork and meditation practices, a question rose up that shifted everything:
“What if you were never meant to be enough?”
That single question cracked open the illusion I had been chasing. Money was just one mask for the same hunger, the same pursuit. Freedom was not waiting for me on the other side of worthiness, it was available in my humanness all along.
In my latest video, I share how that realization changed the way I teach, create, and serve. I speak about the exhaustion of trying to perform worthiness, why “enoughness” is the new dangling carrot of the spiritual world, how embracing our messiness as humans can paradoxically make us freer.
👁️ What your body has been trying to tell you?
If you want to go deeper and explore your body’s story, take this quiz to see what patterns show up for you!
The way we hold ourselves matters. Not just because of how it looks. But because it shapes how we live, how we relate, and what we’re capable of imagining. Let your body speak. Let it interrupt the collective war and offer you a new way of being entirely.
Client’s Unconditioning ↓
If you feel called to explore working with me to re-pattern your body, regulate your nervous system, and restore your power, book an alignment call here: https://tidycal.com/hedishah/alignment-call
Offerings↓ ↓
“Uncondition Your Posture to Reclaim Your Power”
September 22 . Monday . 6 pm GMT
Let’s unlearn the myths and reclaim a posture that actually works for you!
In this free class in my collaboration with CreativeMornings, you’ll learn how to:
Let go of unnecessary tension and discover true support
Activate deep postural muscles without clenching or bracing
Use your breath to restore energy and presence
Move in a way that feels strong, grounded, and natural
Prepration:
- Wear comfortable clothes.
- Go barefoot.
- Have a chair nearby, ideally one without wheels and with a firm seat.
Duration: 60 mins
Where: Zoom
Cost: Free
꩜ Monthly Reset
September 24 . Wednesday . 3 pm GMT
These sessions are designed to release the stress you have been carrying, reconnect with your body’s wisdom, and step into the new month with clarity and intention. In the final week of each month, we will come together for:
Nonlinear movement to shake off tension and emotional residue
Guided reflection to integrate what the month brought
Intentional planning to meet the next cycle grounded and resourced
This is about returning to your center, unconditioning yourself from systems built to keep you small, and living a sovereign life. Come as you are.
Leave lighter, clearer, and more connected.
Prepration:
- Wear comfy clothes
- Have plenty of space to move around
- Bring a pen and paper
Duration: 45-60 mins
Where: Insight Timer
Cost: Free or donation-based
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Bodyworker & Mindfulness Teacher
🌊 Teaching change makers to uncondition their bodies, nervous systems, and voices from systems built to keep them small so they can move, speak, and live with sovereign power.
📲 Website | Youtube | LinkedIn | Insight Timer