I almost didn’t write this because it sounds so ridiculous when I share this inner negotiation out loud…
The negotiation was over a half-hour change to a schedule I set myself, and it took me a minute to decide. It felt like a big deal because it was the opposite of what I typically do.
Have you ever wanted more breathing room, only to notice yourself resisting the very change that would give it to you?
Let me give you some context.
During the summer, I had gotten into a really good flow with my movement and work routine. I went for daily morning walks, hosted my embodied focus sessions on Insight Timer at 10 a.m., and then went to the gym in the early afternoon before beginning work again. I loved it.
As the weather got colder, wetter, and darker, I noticed that I needed a lot of willpower to get myself to the gym in the afternoon and would rather take a nap. So I thought it was time to change my routine and move my workouts to the early morning.
Simple enough.
Except I was extremely fixated on keeping my embodied focus session at 10 a.m. That left very little wiggle room, especially on mornings when I needed more sleep.
Moving it to 10:30 seemed like an obvious solution.
And the control freak part of me did not like that.
My first thought was that I’d be letting down the people who showed up to these sessions. But when I sat with that feeling and dug a little deeper, I noticed something else too…
The fear of too much space.
This part of me loves the rush. Making tea quickly, jumping in the shower, setting everything up just in time. There’s something so satisfying about squeezing it all in.
Moving the session to 10:30 would give me room for the mornings when I needed more sleep. But most days, I’d still wake up at my usual time. I’d have more than enough time to get ready.
And a part of me didn’t want more than enough time.
This part of me wanted to feel squeezed for time.
Where does that come from? Maybe from what I saw growing up about what it means to be successful and important. Or from a system that teaches us to measure our worth by how busy we are, until rushing feels normal and having enough time feels uncomfortable.
💚 When you’re ready, here are four ways I can support you:
Apply for the next Posture in Motion: a small-group posture and somatic practice to help you feel more at home in your body, move with greater ease, and shift the patterns keeping you tense, braced, or in pain.
Discover Your Body’s Story: a free five-minute quiz to understand what your body may be telling you—especially if you feel wired but drained, stuck in a loop, or disconnected from yourself.
Hire me for a Live Experience: immersive virtual and in-person wellbeing events that bring the body back into the conversation through nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused practices.
Practice with me live on Insight Timer: join my Monthly Unconditioning Practice to reconnect with your body’s wisdom, or an Embodied Focus Session combining focused work sprints with movement, music, and community.
I ended up changing my schedule, and as I write this, I’m in my second week. My embodied focus session now starts at 10:30 a.m., and I’m having fun with the extra space in my schedule.
So often, we want one thing, but our conditioning pulls us back toward familiar ways of doing things. We want breathing room, but keep squeezing things in. We want a different rhythm, but hesitate to change a schedule we set ourselves.
I’m reminded that sometimes these simple, ordinary changes take as much of a stance on the changes we want to see in our world as the bigger ones do.
Where in your life are you craving more breathing room, and what makes it hard to give yourself that space?
P.S. If you’re craving some structured focus time with a dance break, you’re more than welcome to join my 10:30 a.m. sessions on Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/hedishah/events
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Mindfulness Teacher & Bodyworker
🐉 Nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused strength training to target the cause of what keeps you stuck and in pain, not just symptoms.
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