The urge to be right
On war, uncertainty, and the quiet violence of dehumanizing each other
I almost decided to quietly skip this week’s letter and unscheduled my original post, but part of me felt the need to speak on this.
I saw a post on LinkedIn where the person was talking about what’s happening in the world, and she used the word “Arab world” instead of “Middle East,” and I’ve seen people attacking her, saying Iran is not an Arabic country.
In response to comments, she said, “I was trying to use more inclusive language and had no idea Iran is not part of the Arab world.”
And the commenter said, “Then don’t comment on something you don’t know....”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry, so I smirked....
The pressure to say something or to say the right thing is intense right now.
The hardest thing is to sit with uncertainty. This discomfort is so agitating that we often prefer the certainty of our own viewpoint to having that be challenged.
We reach that certainty by dehumanizing others, calling them “uneducated,” “stupid,” or “supporters of our enemy.”
It’s a trap I witness myself get stuck in from time to time.
When we feel unsafe, we also gravitate toward fixed roles that give us instant moral clarity:
Victim
Perpetrator
Savior
Depending on your lived experience and your worldview, you may already have a clean map in your mind of who plays which role in this war.
None of these frames are entirely wrong, but they are incomplete, and they keep us trapped in moral certainty instead of honest contact with reality.
The painful truth is that all three live inside us: the part that has been harmed, the part that hardens and harms or judges, and the part that wants to rescue and control the outcome.
Moving beyond the triad does not mean denying injustice. It means staying awake to these inner forces without letting them run the whole story.
This is where the Self with the capital S lives, we have more capacity for nuances beyond outsourcing our agency to right/left narratives, villains and heroes, and take responsibility for the choices we have to make with our limited options. And refusing to make a choice is a choice too.
I lived more than half of my life in Iran, travel there every year, and become more homesick as time passes. My parents, my only brother, and my entire extended family except an uncle live there. And I have a dream of returning and running this little business from my homeland.
And sitting with the uncertainty for its future and my family’s livelihood is one of the hardest things I’ve ever endured.
Do you know what calms me the most?
When my family finds a way to call me through the regime’s internet crackdowns and says, “We are okay, and we are more hopeful than scared.”
👁️ What has your body been trying to tell you?
The way we hold ourselves matters. Not just because of how it looks. But because it shapes how we live, how we relate, and what we’re capable of imagining. Let your body speak. Let it interrupt the collective war and offer you a new way of being entirely.
Start Your Unconditioning Path ↓
A 18-week journey that combines nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused strength training to address the root cause of your pain, not just symptoms.
What’s next?
Uncondition Your Posture To Reclaim Your Power
Mar 24th. Tuesday. 5:30 pm GMT
“Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Chest up. Tuck your chin in.”
Have you heard that before? Did you just force yourself into those rigid positions? Okay.
Now relax…
Exhale, and let it all go.
For years, we have been told that good posture is something we have to force, that if we just hold our bodies in the right position long enough, we will magically fix ourselves.
But rigid, forced posture is not sustainable. A good posture reclaims ease, stability, and natural movement, it doesn’t lock yourself into an unnatural shape so you can reduce pain, be flexible and adaptable as you go through life.
In this free class, you’ll learn how to:
Understand the relationship between your posture, your identity and your life
Let go of unnecessary tension and discover true support
Activate deep postural muscles without clenching or bracing
Use your breath to optimize your posture, move freer, increase energy feel stronger, and calmer.
Let’s unlearn the myths and reclaim posture that actually serves you!
What to bring:
Wear comfortable clothes.
Go barefoot.
Have a chair nearby, ideally one without wheels and with a firm seat.
Monthly Unconditioning Practice
Mar 30th. Monday. 5 pm GMT
This session helps you reconnect with your body's innate wisdom, move beyond what keeps you stuck, and rediscover who you are beneath the conditioning.
You'll follow the rhythm within and the pulse of the music to guide yourself back to the wild Self.
Each month, we gather for:
Nonlinear movement with music to shake off tension and emotional residue
Guided reflection to integrate what the month brought
Intentional planning to meet the next cycle grounded and resourced
Show up exactly as you are. Leave feeling more alive, grounded, and free.
What to bring:
Comfortable clothes
Plenty of space to move around
A pen and paper
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Mindfulness Teacher & Bodyworker
🐉 Nervous system regulation, breathwork, and posture-focused strength training to target the cause of what keeps you stuck and in pain, not just symptoms.
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