time is a child . playing like a child . playing a board game . the kingdom of the child
This ↑
line is carved into one face of the stone cube Carl Jung placed near his Bollingen Tower in 1950. It's from Heraclitus, and it resonates deeply with where I am right now. I’ll share more about it in this letter.
In Jung's interpretation, this line emphasizes the playful, creative, and mysterious nature of time and the psyche. It is a metaphor that highlights the often unpredictable flow of time, echoing the way it can feel both endless and fleeting, much like how a child experiences the world.
This year, I chose a word to guide me. I do this every year. The word I chose was "Alchemy." And I wrote beside it in parentheses, "with childlike awe."
Funny how these words come to me so strongly. At first, I think I know what they mean. But as the year unfolds, they reveal themselves in ways I couldn’t have imagined. And often, life begins to respond in synchronicity. It sends me the people, the mentors, the books, and the unexpected lessons that deepen their meaning. These encounters act like mirrors, expanding the word’s shape and revealing parts of it I hadn’t even considered.
This year, one of those mirrors came in the form of Carl Jung. I started the Red Book. I haven’t finished it. I read slowly because every page holds enough to sit with for days. Then I picked up his autobiography, Memories, Dreams, Reflections. And suddenly, alchemy began to deepen in ways I didn’t expect.
Reading Jung’s work on alchemy and psychology, I learned that alchemy was not truly about turning lead into gold. Jung saw it as a metaphor for inner transformation. The alchemists, he believed, were projecting their own psychological processes onto matter. They were unknowingly describing the path of human wholeness.
At the heart of it are 3 core principles:
• Sulphur: the soul, the will, the fire that initiates change
• Mercury: the psyche, the messenger, the one who moves between realms
• Salt: the body, the structure, the anchor that holds it all together
These three forces give rise to the metals, each representing a psychological state. Jung understood these not as literal steps but as symbolic phases in the alchemical journey of becoming. The metals are not linear stages to be followed in order. Instead, they are dynamic expressions of the psyche that may surface in cycles, layers, or spirals. Some may arise more than once. Some may overlap. The process is not fixed. It is lived.
• Lead (Saturn): the shadow, the heaviness of all we’d rather not look at
• Tin (Jupiter): the ego’s inflation, a mask that protects but often isolates
• Iron (Mars): the warrior, powerful when directed wisely
• Copper (Venus): the heart, where connection and compassion begin
• Silver (Moon): the moonlight of intuition
• Gold (Sun): the integrated self, not a perfect person, but a whole one
• Mercury (Quicksilver): the psyche, the paradox, the guide who bridges realms
For me, this year has felt like a shedding. Or as Jung might say, an alchemical process. A quiet burning away of what no longer fit. Not just a rebrand of my work, but a return to wholeness. I’ve worn many hats. Meditation teacher. Movement guide. Strength Training Coach. Posture specialist. But something was always missing. I needed room to stop fragmenting myself.
Eventually, I realized I had been circling around one thing: unconditioning. It’s at the heart of everything I do. The body, the nervous system, the posture, the voice. I didn’t just study them. I needed them. I searched because I had to, for my own healing. My path has been about peeling away all the shoulds and expectations I took on, and choosing what truly belongs in my life. I imagine this work will continue for the rest of my life.
{Join Embodiment Session for the In-Between Times and Transitions for FREE}
That clarity showed up more tangibly this year after losing a major US corporate client. I panicked for a moment, but a deeper voice said, you'll be okay. This is the opening you've been waiting for. I felt called to work differently, even if I didn’t yet know how. I knew I wanted to expand my impact, make my work more accessible, and earn a living that felt aligned. I didn’t want my work to be a luxury (still have a long way to go). That’s why I began showing up more on YouTube and Insight Timer.
And finally I came to a tag line that feels true to me: I teach changemakers to uncondition their bodies, nervous systems, and voices so they can move, speak, and stand with sovereign power. It’s the clearest way I know to describe what I do, for now. Voice is already unfolding as a deeper focus. I’ll be sharing more with you soon.
This rethinking led me to another question. What if this era we’re stepping into isn’t about deep expertise in just one thing? What if it's about becoming fluent in many languages of healing, expression, and being? What if we’re meant to draw from all parts of ourselves and the world around us, and create something new from that mix?
Even though I always kept exploring, I carried a quiet shame and pressure to have it all figured out, like I should have chosen one path by now. But witnessing Jung’s commitment to deep study across disciplines such as mythology, alchemy, psychology, and dreams showed me that integration is the path. His work gave me permission to keep learning from different models, to engage with many frameworks, and to weave them into something that feels like mine, not borrowed, not inherited, but lived. It showed me that drawing from many modalities is not a lack of focus, but a devotion to wholeness, a kind of depth the mainstream often overlooks and still hasn't fully caught up to.
These days, when life shifts direction or unexpected currents show up, I pause. I remind myself that I do not need to fit inside a box to make sense. There is wisdom in following the thread, even when it’s uncertain.
I'm learning adaptability is not failure. It is sovereignty in motion.
So I keep asking:
• What is my life vision?
• How do I want to feel in my body, my breath and my world?
• Can I stay loyal to that feeling, even as the path twists and shifts?
Some days I know. Other days I just listen.
This is what alchemy feels like.
This is what childlike awe reveals.
This is the kingdom of the child.
And I’m still learning how to play.
In this video,
I explore the difference between vision and routine, how we often confuse the two, and why that confusion can lead to guilt, shame, or burnout. It’s called Your Routine Isn’t Your Vision (How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Progress). If this letter resonated with you, especially the parts about loosening your grip, following what feels alive, or letting go of the ‘how,’ you might find it grounding. Have a watch if it speaks to where you are.
You are invited ↓↓↓↓
Event: Embodiment Session for the In-Between Times and Transitions
Book: Click here | Wednesday at 4:15 pm GMT | Cost: Free (or by donation)
This live session is for anyone suspended between identities, cultures, or versions of themselves. Whether you have left a country, a relationship, a role, or simply do not recognize who you are becoming, this space is for you. I will share my story of returning to her birth country and the unexpected wave of homesickness and healing that followed.
Through breathwork and embodiment inspired by the fluidity of water, you will be guided to soften, to feel, and to trust the uncertainty of your in-between. This is not a space to figure it all out. It is a space to breathe. To grieve. To flow. To remember that water always finds its way and so will you.
Wanna explore my 121 containers, book an alignment call here: https://calendly.com/hedishah/initial-consultation
Thank you for joining me on the path of unconditioning,
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Hedi Shah
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👁️ Bodyworker & Mindfulness Teacher
🌊 Teaching change makers to uncondition their bodies, nervous systems, and voices from systems built to keep them small so they can move, speak, and live with sovereign power.
📲 Website | Youtube | LinkedIn | Insight Timer
All the paintings in this letter are by Carl Jung from The Red Book